Syn Rosa felt like she might collapse at any time. Her vision was already swimming from lack of sleep and stress. Five days already? She couldn’t keep track how long she had been without a good night rest. She slept with her head on the table in Cat’s Diner really. Two of her crew were in hospital, three girls limped around the shelter with heavy injuries and her own bed was in use as a sickbed for some time. In short, it was hell. But Syn was the driving force behind it all and she knew she would have to stay up or everything would come tumbling down around them. No, this was no time to show weakness and she was more determined than ever to strike back without mercy.
 
After the speech she gave to the Shelter crew, in which she had urged everybody to step up and pull together, Evi had come to her with a very worried look on her face. Syn had mentioned the word ‘Dungeon’ and had referred to it as a place to hold captured pervs if necessary. And now she wanted to see that for herself.
Syn sighed as she took out her keys and went down the stairs into the darkness below. As Evi followed and looked around in the small damp place, her eyes got fixed on the chair with the ropes. The nurse feel back to the wall, a hand in front of her mouth. “Oh Syn, what have you done? Are you becoming insane?”
Syn shrugged. “In our war all means are allowed. The goal justifies it.” The words sounded a bit hollow in her own mind and there was an echo from somewhere….somebody else had said that once before, now where was that?
"Syn... what you're talking about doing... kidnap, torture, attacks, patroling.. this is GANG activity!!”
Syn Rosa turned to the nurse and frowned, replying “Evi, two of our girls almost dies last week... it is a war out there. I tried playing nice, I really did, but if we don't step up, people ARE going to die next time."
"You can't fight Evil with evil." Evi said firmly. "Syn, if you do this, you do this without me."
Syn leaned back agains the wall and slowly shook her head. She was convinced she was doing the right thing, yet Evi's words make her feel uncomfortable. Or was it because of what Neph had said earlier, that weapons summoned more violence? She shook her head again and spoke softly."My back is against the wall Evi. They are forcing my hand. I will not let them kill Shan or Danae or any of the other girls."
"There's a difference between fighting back, taking a stand, and perpetrating the evil you seek to vanquish." Evi said, her eyes hard. "I have seen these evils, Syn! I know the line that must be tread. A big sign that you've crossed that line? WHEN YOU HAVE A DUNGEON!" Evi snapped. "No, no... I can't be a part of this. You have other medical assistance now, you don't need me. You won't listen to me. Seek violence and you will find it." Evi said, stamping out….
 
Syn felt her head spinning as the echo of the woman’s voice kept ringing in her head. There was something about it that felt like she had been here before. A shiver ran down her spine and she really felt so tired. She slowly sank down to the floor and gazed into the darkness. Emotions started to overwhelm her, apparently from out of nowhere. Tears leapt to her eyes and she banged her head back to the wall repeatedly. Why was this happening? Why, now that she was finally pulling it all together? Why were these emotions coming to haunt her now? Yes she was raped and it didn’t bother her a bit. She was strong and she’d been raped before, so why was this coming back to her now? But it was worse. The harder she pushed against her feelings, the more she was overwhelmed. Visions started to force themselves to her… other dark places… another chair… and suddenly her eyes got fixed on that chair. It felt like she tumbled forward into a tunnel of horrors and repressed memories…
 
The nightmare flashes began and took her back to the days of her imprisonment at the Institute. She was barely coping with the constant rape and abuse, but her friend Ashley had helped her pull through. Then the chance came to escape. Ashley got out but Syn, being pregnant and all, was too slow and got caught. They brought her to THE room. She got forced onto the chair. They had started torturing her. They had pulled the baby from her womb…
 
Flash…  men tossed her a doll… she sang to it, holding it… her Lily
 
Flash… they had tied her breasts and strung her up, asking her if she wanted Lily back and she begged them and repeated their words… that she liked being here, that she would be good…. Brainwashed little girl…
 
Flash… a deep pit filled with mud. She herself covered in blood. She could barely see, having beaten so heavily. Her whole body was aching and she felt like she had died. But with nervous hands she looked in the mud, looking for her Lily, but only finding the rotting corpse of another dead woman. She had been left for dead and when she crawled out she left a lot of herself behind…
 
More flashes… it was Ashley that found her. The woman had spend a couple of month preparing her revenge. Her gang was with her and they took the broken version of Syn back with them to the shelter. It was an old building, belonging to the former Hells Angels club. They all got murdered by Ashley, who was like an angel of vengeance. “All men must pay,” was her favorite cry and she laughed as she said it. Little Rosa watched it all with big eyes, her mind like the six year old they had made her in the institute. Little Rosa was to be the banner to which the women now flocked, a symbol of their revenge. They tortured the men they captured. Then the final assault. But the raid went all wrong. The prisoners of the Institute escaped and attacked the shelter in turn. Some women committed suicide, others ran and were horribly mutilated and murdered. Little Rosa watched it all from her hideout and then she ran as well….
 
Flash… finding the old doll in the garbage, not nearly as pretty as Lily had been but she clung to it for life
 
Flash… a man letting her give him a blowjob for five dollars… more she didn’t need for bread and coffee
 
Flash… hitchhiking by climbing into trunks of cars and letting them take her wherever the cars went
 
Flash… being beaten up near the railroad tracks, clinging to her ragdoll and whispering ‘thank you, thank you…’
 
Flash… Someone crying out her name “Syn!”… more voices… stumbling and touches… the memory of a large hand over her mouth… “Shut up child and don’t you ever tell your mommy!” The hand disappearing and mommy calling out for her, then running away from home…”can’t tell mommy, ever..”
 
They had found Syn in the basement and sedated her. For a full day they watched over her and when she woke up, she still wasn’t herself. A little girl with big eyes walked around the Shelter and she told them a lot of what she had witnessed earlier. Also about her doll and when they gave her a doll to hold, she couldn’t have felt happier. But it was so embarrassing to have their strong leader reduced to this infant.
 
The next day a fight broke out in the Shelter and while everybody was still really stressed out over events, finding ways to cope with the new ordeals and way of things, Little Rose got in the way of the fight. The mad woman that had broken into the Shelter had grabbed her doll and torn her head off. It was to Syn like she experienced losing her daughter all over again and with a horrible snap, sounding in her won ears like somebody broke her own neck, she snapped back, no longer a helpless child but an angel of revenge. She could have killed the woman there and then and would have if the fight hadn’t turned so ugly.
 
Syn Rosa returned from her mad episode, but she was only a shadow of her former self. All her resolve seemed to be lost. Yes, she still wanted the Shelter to succeed and she remembered about her goals and the things she had said. But for some reason she felt so numb inside. The only thing that made her feel something was her doll. However, she had no clue how she got this way. The first moment she was eating cupcakes with Neph, the next she was in a tugging match over the doll with the mad woman. All her nightmares, Little Rosa, yes also her conversation with Evi was forgotten.
 
They told her how they found her, in the lowest cellar and when she got there she got so angry with the chair, she smashed it to bits and ran away from it. They would have to do help the victims of this city without torturing anyone… she didn’t know why she felt that, but it was as strong as her hate and resolve had been before the whole episode.