They say when you die...you see a white light at the end of a dark tunnel.
 
They say that when you go toward the light, it's supposed to be happy, peaceful and a state that's almost comparable to sumthin' like what happens when you had yer best day.
 
Hey, hell if I know, I just remember bein in the dark. Lotsa music and the music was about as bright and cheerful as the fuckin' scenery. I'd scream out for a Stevie Ray Vaughan request and get nothin' for my trouble. These songs were sumthin' awful in my opinion. Whoever sang 'em lost all hope for livin' and I was beginnin' to believe the same thing was happenin' with me. I spent a lot of time in a funk...or maybe it was just a blink. Like I said, hell if I know.
 
Next thing I know...pain in my nugget all over again and it felt like...well, pain. The same kind of excruciatin' pain I'd felt before but this time...no pain in the jaw and when I came around, there was the scene. Just what I'd expected. Heaven.
 
Heaven was a nice log cabin with a warm fire in the fireplace and it was pure white outside. Not from any type of Divine light or nothin'...but from snow....lots and lots of it. It never snowed in Dead End. I mighta seen the sun a couple a times but never like this. Still, things go through your pain-addled mind. Lotsa "what ifs" playin' hell on ya.
 
Then there she was...nothin short of an angel and she was scared. I kinda thought that, in the afterlife, the angels had your damn back. Nothin' scared 'em. Well, looked like this ol' Memphis boy just did and I can't blame her...my appearance was pretty wretched.
 
That's when she finally told me what was happenin'. I wasn't dead and this wasn't Heaven. Talk about a damn disappointment if there ever was one. I was very much alive and the pain was very real.
 
That's when the really weird part of our tale begins. She called me Quinn. I looked at her with confusion. My name damn sure ain't Quinn. Then it got even more oddball. I had a guitar strapped to me. Don't know where it came from and don't care but I needed answers and so did she. She didn't believe me when I told her my name wasn't Quinn. I had to pull my badge and show her. Fact was, I was amazed I still had the damn thing. Figured, by now, they'd have tossed me out on my ass for the incident at the station. I wonder how many knew. When she got me onto the couch, I asked what day it was...when she told me, I wanted to be dead. The Cap'n was gonna fuckin have me flayed alive for that. I wondered if I'd even bothered to check in while I was out. The pain in my head flared again and the woman in the room told me her name but I keep thinkin' it's Cyndi or sumthin'. Sin for short, I know but can't think of what her name is. I got completely taken care of by her. Not sure why she would have or should have. By all accounts, I should have been out in the snow over that one.
 
Apparently, I was in no condition to go anywhere and I know she probably liked the idea of goin' into Dead End less than I did. That's when she asked me about her boyfriend, Mason, I think his name was. Never heard of 'im. Apparently, she's another of the Cap'n's fan club. The tirade I heard made me glad I was on this lady's good side. I had to force myself to listen to the story and offer reassurance that I didn't think he was dead. The pain still managed to bring my optimism of his return down. Or maybe it was just wishful thinkin on my part? I mean I was lookin at someone who was as pretty as a picture and, hey, if I was half as good at music as she said I was, I damn sure had a foot in the door. Ah, what the hell am I talkin' about. Guy like me driftin around tryin' to find answers to his own blank spots couldn't do much for her anyways.
 
At the time, I figured I was the closest to Paradise I was about to get and I fell asleep on that couch. It was comfy for me. I had a frozen bag of peas on my nugget and a blanket on me. I drifted again...this time, I was thankful it was just sleep.
 
When I woke up, the fire in the fireplace had died and the snow was still going strong. I got up, got dressed and grabbed the guitar and headed out into the cold. Now, I'm from Memphis and we never get cold like that. I didn't exactly have a jacket with me and I was freezin' my ass off. I wasn't concerned with wakin' her. She'd done enough for me and I'd have to repay that favor or at least thank her in some way. The trucker who picked me up told me that we were quite a ways from Dead End. He'd take me as far as the road into Dead End but no further. I didn't give a crap. As long as I didn't have to be in that cold again, I was fine.
 
I strolled into Dead End that night I walked over to the hospital. I'd hoped someone would be there and then, I decided to forget it and I went to play in one of the alleys. I needed time to myself and I started playin'. I started to walk away from the hospital when this small nurse with light hair stepped out.
 
There was that name again....Quinn. There was an officer that I recognized who interrupted the whole damn thing and I just kinda faded into the background. Last thing I wanted or needed was a Welcome Back Kotter party in the worst kinda way. These two needed some serious time and I was gonna give it to 'em.
 
I stepped into the alley that I'd previously selected. I played for awhile and then decided to get nosy. I needed to know when the cop and his partner were gonna leave. I stopped playin' and walked in through the paramedic's entrance. I listened until I heard them leave and that's when I slipped in.
 
I told her I needed to talk to her and I asked her where she'd seen me last, how long ago it was. I hated to be pushy with someone I'd just met but I needed details. There was a huge lapse in time for me and I wanted to know what the hell happened. That's when Miss Ally came in and, when all was said and done...I felt the effects of the bomb that got dropped on me.
 
See this isn't like the Mayor of Hiroshima saying, "What the hell was that?" This is like the Mayor of Hiroshima realizin' he needed a change of shorts at the worst possible moment in time.
 
Miss Ally let me listen to the tape. I didn't know she had it. There I was. It was my voice but it wasn't. The accent was all different, the voice was all different for that matter. I had introduced myself under hypnosis as Harlequin or Quinn for short. Apparently, I couldn't move and things were goin' from bad to worse. I'd threatened Miss Ally's life and even her well-bein' I just wanted to crawl in a hole when the subject o' sex came up. I couldn't believe I'd picked up some prostitute in a bar but there it was...all on tape and I was getting it from my own mouth.
 
I turned the tape off. I wanted to throw up.
 
Miss Ally suggested that we use hypnosis to merge the two personalities.
 
Hell no. This thing was a monster and I wasn't well acquainted with it. No way I was gonna let this thing be a part of me. It had to go.
 
After much in the way of bad noise, I broke. I was too tired to argue about it anymore. I took up one of the beds and went to sleep. The session would take place after I woke up.
 
Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought, "Ain't life a bitch..."
 
To be continued